What to Ask the Doctor When You Only Have 15 Minutes With Your Parent in the Room

You finally get the appointment.

You help your parent into the exam room.
The doctor walks in, opens the chart, and you can almost hear the clock start ticking.

Most primary care visits in the U.S. last around 15–20 minutes. On top of that, studies suggest patients remember less than half of what the doctor says—especially when they’re stressed.

As a caregiver, you’re trying to juggle a lot:

• Respecting your parent’s voice
• Making sure key issues get mentioned
• Leaving with a clear plan instead of “What just happened?”

This guide gives you a simple way to get the most out of those 15 minutes, without taking over the visit or walking out confused.

Quick Answer: The Core Questions to Ask in a 15-Minute Visit

If time is tight and you only remember a few things, start with these:

1. “Our top concerns today are…”
   Say your parent’s 1–3 main issues right at the beginning of the visit.
2. “What do you think is causing this?”
   This helps you understand the doctor’s thinking, not just the label.
3. “What is the plan today: tests, medicines, or changes?”
   Ask the doctor to spell out what they want you to do.
4. “How should we take this medicine, and what side effects should we watch for?”
5. “What warning signs mean we should call you or go to the ER?”
   This keeps you from panicking—or waiting too long.
6. “What happens next: who will contact us and when?”
   Clarify follow-ups so you’re not left guessing.

You don’t need a perfect script. These questions simply make sure you cover cause, plan, safety, and next steps.

Step 1: Before You Go – Decide What Really Needs to Be Covered

You can’t solve everything in 15 minutes, and that’s okay.

The National Institute on Aging suggests older adults pick three or four main questions or concerns before a visit.

Sit down with your parent and ask:

• “What is bothering you the most right now?”
• “What worries you or keeps you up at night?”

Then make a short list:

• 1–3 symptoms or changes
  • Examples: falls, new pain, shortness of breath, memory changes, sadness, sleep problems.
• 1–2 practical problems
  • Examples: confusion about medicines, trouble bathing, not eating well, getting lost.

Write these on one piece of paper and bring it to the appointment. This becomes your anchor when the visit starts to feel rushed.

Step 2: Bring the Right Information So You Don’t Waste Time

The more prepared you are, the more time the doctor can spend actually helping.

Health agencies like NIH and NIA recommend bringing:

• A current medication list
  • Include prescription drugs, over-the-counter meds, vitamins, and supplements.
  • Note the dose and when your parent takes each one.
• A simple symptom summary for each concern:
  • When did it start?
  • How often does it happen?
  • What makes it better or worse?
  • How does it affect daily life? (Example: “Because of the dizziness, Mom is afraid to shower.”)
• Any recent test results or hospital/ER discharge papers, if relevant.

If the practice uses a patient portal, some doctors encourage sending a short message with key concerns ahead of time so they know what to expect.

Step 3: Use the First 2 Minutes on What Matters Most

Nurses and doctors warn about the “doorknob” problem—saving the biggest concern for the last moment, as the doctor’s hand is literally on the doorknob.

Instead, use the first 1–2 minutes to set the agenda.

As soon as the doctor comes in and asks how they can help, try something like:

“We know your time is tight. Our top two concerns today are:

1. the falls over the last month, and
2. Mom’s new confusion in the evenings.”

If your parent is able, let them say this in their own words, and you add brief details.

Then ask:

“Does that sound reasonable for today?”

This lets the doctor confirm they can cover these items—or tell you if something needs a separate visit.

Step 4: What to Ask About Symptoms and Diagnosis

Once your main concerns are on the table, you want to understand what the doctor thinks is going on.

Good questions include:

• “What do you think is causing this?”
• “Is this something serious, or more of a watch-and-see situation?”
• “Are there other possible causes we should keep in mind?”
• “What should we track at home, pain, blood pressure, blood sugar, balance, sleep, mood?”

Then use a simple repeat-back:

“So you’re saying you think the dizziness might be from low blood pressure and this medicine, and we’re going to adjust the dose and see if it improves. Is that right?”

This “teach-back” method is recommended in many patient communication guides to make sure you understood the plan.

Step 5: What to Ask About Medications

Medication changes are one of the easiest places for confusion and mistakes.

For every new or changed medicine, ask:

• “What is this medicine for?”
• “How exactly should we take it, what time of day, with food or without?”
• “How long should we take it?”
• “What common side effects should we expect?”
• “What side effects or changes mean we should call you right away?”
• “Will this interact with any of these other medicines or supplements?” (show your list)
• “What should we do if we miss a dose?”

You can then say:

“Can you write that down for us or send it in the portal?”

This reduces the chance of mixing up pills or stopping something important.

Step 6: What to Ask About Tests, Scans, and Referrals

It’s easy to nod “okay” when the doctor orders tests, but you should know why.

When tests or referrals come up, ask:

• “Why do we need this test or scan?”
• “What are you looking for?”
• “Are there any risks or downsides?”
• “What happens if we don’t do it right now?”
• “How and when will we get the results?”
• “Who will explain the results to us?”

For referrals:

• “What should we expect from this specialist visit?”
• “Is there anything specific we should ask them?”

This way, you leave knowing what you’re saying yes to—and what to watch for next.

Step 7: What to Ask About Safety, Falls, and Daily Life

Doctor visits often focus on numbers—blood pressure, lab values, diagnoses. But for older adults, safety and daily function matter just as much.

If your parent is:

• Falling or almost falling
• Having trouble with walking, bathing, dressing, cooking, or managing money
• Seeming more confused or withdrawn

Bring it up. Then ask:

• “My parent has had [falls / near falls / balance problems]. What can we do to reduce the risk?”
• “Could any of these medicines be making them dizzy or confused?”
• “Do you recommend physical therapy, a balance class, or specific exercises?”
• “Should we consider a cane, walker, or grab bars?”
• “Are you worried about their memory, mood, or behavior based on what we’ve shared?”

This ties health conditions to real-life independence.

Step 8: What to Ask About the Care Plan and Next Steps

Before you leave, you want a simple plan you can actually follow.

Ask the doctor to summarize:

• “Can you share the plan in a few steps so I can write it down?”

Then follow up with:

• “What should we work on first?”
• “What warning signs mean we should call you?”
• “What would mean we should go to urgent care or the ER?”
• “When should we schedule the next visit?”
• “If we have questions after we get home, what’s the best way to reach you—portal, phone, nurse line?”

This lines up with NIH and NIA advice to write down questions, take notes, and clarify next steps before leaving.

Do a quick teach-back:

“So, step one is to change this medicine, step two is to schedule blood work, and step three is to call your office if the dizziness gets worse or if there’s a fall. Is that right?”

Caregiver Question Sheet: A One-Page Visit Helper

At the top:

• Today’s date: _______
• Doctor’s name: _______
• Top 3 concerns we want to cover:

Symptoms & Diagnosis

• What do you think is causing this?
• Is it serious? What should we watch for at home?
• What should we track (pain, blood pressure, blood sugar, balance, sleep, mood)?

Medications

• What is this medicine for?
• How and when do we take it?
• Common side effects?
• Side effects that mean we should call you?
• Could this interact with other meds or supplements?

Tests & Referrals

• Why this test or scan?
• What are you looking for?
• Risks or downsides?
• How and when will we get results?
• Who will explain them to us?

Safety & Daily Life

• Falls, dizziness, balance problems?
• Memory, mood, or behavior changes?
• Trouble with walking, bathing, dressing, cooking, or money?

Next Steps

• What do we do in the next week?
• What warning signs mean we should call?
• When is the next visit?
• Best way to reach you with questions?

Bring this sheet to each visit. Over time, it becomes a habit—and those 15 minutes will feel much more productive.

Key Takeaways for Caregivers

• Most visits are short, and many patients remember less than half of what’s said. Planning ahead protects you and your parent.
• Agree on 1–3 top concerns with your parent before the appointment and say them out loud at the very start.
• Ask focused questions about:
  • What the doctor thinks is going on
  • What the plan is (meds, tests, referrals)
  • How to take medicines safely
  • What warning signs to watch for
  • What happens next and when
• Let your parent speak for themselves as much as possible. Your role is to fill in gaps, ask follow-up questions, and take notes, not to erase their voice.
• If the visit feels rushed or unclear, it’s okay to say:
  • “I’m still a little unsure. Could we go over the plan once more?”
  • Or ask for a follow-up visit or message later.

You can’t control how long the doctor has, but with a little preparation, you can make sure those 15 minutes cover what matters most—for your parent’s health and your peace of mind.

Reference links

1. Talking with your doctor: preparation & tips – NIH / NIA
   https://order.nia.nih.gov/sites/default/files/2021-06/talking-with-your-doctor.pdf
2. General doctor visit communication tips – NIH
   https://www.nih.gov/institutes-nih/office-communications-public-liaison/clear-communication/talking-your-doctor-or-health-care-provider
3. Talking with your doctor: make the most of your appointment – NIH News in Health
   https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2017/12/talking-your-doctor
4. Questions to ask your doctor / patient involvement – AHRQ
   https://www.ahrq.gov/patients-consumers/patient-involvement/index.html
5. Prepare for a doctor’s visit – MedlinePlus / NIA infographic
   https://magazine.medlineplus.gov/nih-resources/prepare-for-your-doctors-visit-with-this-tip-sheet/
6. Talking with your doctor: tips for seniors (infographic)
   https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/infographics/talking-your-doctor-tips-seniors